No, they're not prayer beads.

*These are actual Japa Mala beads

1. Many thanks & much love to all who celebrated my birthday. I'm still receiving cards & gifts which means I'm loved much. That holds much weight in my world.
1a. When I invite you to a gathering of my friends, don't attend if you plan on just sitting on the side w/ your friend and not engaging the group. If I wanted to bump into you & your home girl, I wouldn't have invited you out. I would have asked where you were partying tonight & met you there.
1b. Don't you ever, ever, ever waive a gift in front of the birthday boy & then tuck it away like it doesn't exists. I'm a gentleman so I'll behave accordingly but I know some less than gentlemanly men who aren't inclined to respond so kindly.
5. There comes a time when you should consciously & actively begin separating fiction from reality. This usually begins around the age of 12/13 or immediately afterward when puberty comes into full swing. This should be a standard practice by the time you reach age 22-27, not a novel notion you're still wrapping your understanding around.
3. The dog is well feed, but the master is hungry.
4. It's a hard day when you sit down to write & realize your muse no longer inspires. They're funny things, muses you know, certainly exchangable but definitely not replaceable.
2. See me, want me, give me, touch me, feed me, fuck me, love me, touch me this whole world is cold & ugly.
6. All Mac & Cheese is not created equally.
7. I wrestled with participating in the democratic process on Tuesday. My frustrations with the absence of tangible improvements delivered with in a timely manner almost keep me from the polls. I was persuaded, not emotional pleas of those who fought & died for my right to vote (good looking on the blood, sweat, & tears but more harm has come from that movement) but by an appeal to my intellect regarding the whole system. In sum, all of life's conflicts should be resolved by logic except those immediately involving the absence of physical life per some distraught soul with a weapon. At which point, fuck logic, make it out alive the best you can.
9. If you're not already, become comfortable with people expressing their love for you. Love comes in many forms & it does both parties involved a world of good being able to express the sentiment as well as knowing that you are indeed the objection of someone's care, concern, & affections.
9a. If we're not growing together, we really are growing apart. Love will tell you that plainly, without hesitation or reservation.
10. I satisfied my urge for hot wings today, the first bite was immediately a drastic disappointment. I wish I had left the urge unanswered.
11. Once I get custody of my inner child again, I'm setting a court date to rework this visitation schedule because the current one is an epic fail.
12. We've grown older, grown up, grown apart, & still have out grown the memories made before the growing had a chance to start.
13. 5 yrs ago, this time of month was an emotional roller coaster with no passenger restraints. I'd lost my childhood house, gained a sense of self, become legal in all 50 states, almost flew to Mexico on a smile, a if & a prayer, moved in with a friend who lived an hour away from said home, partied like a rock star w/ said friend & more friends to numb out the effects of what happened, & began. an exchange via Facebook that would leave a lasting impression on my soul much longer after she & I ceased to keep in touch.
I slept in a trailer sans electricity or heat for 3 days waiting to ride 9hrs back to my family for Thanksgiving. I woke up when the sun was high in the sky & went to sleep fully dressed (sans boots) as soon as the sun dropped.
I don't need to remember the anniversary, I've lived in the reality for five years.